The Cocaine Dealer
4/10/2006 4:00 PM
Destitute and lonely - scared and blue
60 days in jail is - surely gonna change you
Listen:
I'll tell you things - you never knew
How cocaine rules behind the bars
And every word of it is true.

Cocaine
If you haven't tried it
Cocaine
In jail you can buy it
Cocaine
Makes your heart beat really fast
With enough cocaine
You time in jail
Will soon become your past.

The dealer was a young man
The kind you knew in school
Who could lip an unlit cigarette
Smile and talk and still look cool
Always dressed impeccably
Without looking like he'd tried
Got respect even from the teachers
But now he's chillin' out inside

Cocaine
He had the brains - he found the bucks
Cocaine
He had the contacts and the pluck
Cocaine
He took a risk it brougt him down
But now he's making more inside
Then he ever did downtown.

Before I con-tin-U with this story
There are facts that you should know
Like how you get inside a prison
With needles and bags of blow
Well I respect your scepticism
No one likes to feel a fool
So let me sidetrack for a second
To fill you in on prison rules.

You see visitors can bring you
Just about most anything
As long is it's in the original
Unopened packaging.
So girlfriends take a needle
And using a syringe
Shoot vodka through the plastic
Into a bag of oranges.

Cocaine
And they said you couldn't rhyme "orange"
Cocaine
Do enough and you'll be leaning toward
Cocaine
Thinking clever soaring higher
With a little help from your friends
You've got a fresh screwdriver.

Now that little trick
Should have given you a clue
Of how the dealer got the cocaine in
Under the noses of the screws
I won't tell all his secrets
You tell me if you know
What is really in the middle
Of chocolate Oreo's?

Cocaine
This is true I was a con
Cocaine
Although those days are long since gone
Cocaine
I remember but not without some shame
Still I got to rhyme orange
In a song about cocaine.

[spoken over the music, with the background singers repeating "cocaine"]
I really like this.
Not the song.
The music: it sounds like it should be in a movie.
Not an action scene like where he gets busted.
More like, he's on a plane to Europe.
Drinking a martini.
Wearing sunglasses.
And the flight attendant is talking.... Really fast.
Maybe he gives her an orange,
And the credits roll.

not used:

I was arrested put in jail
Five thousand dollars was my bail
They set me in a cell
to wait until my trial.
I was scared - yes terrified
But it turned out inside
There was boredom yes but
There was a party too: